Today’s fluff has run out of sweet things
Tottenham Hotspur are interested in hiring a new waiter for their cheese hall and have heard that Barcelona’s Malcom knows how to work a room. However, Arsenal might ask the Brazilian forward if he fancies playing football for them instead. A tough choice.
Arsenal have also told Aaron Ramsey that he can leave on a free transfer next summer. Unai Emery is lining up Nicolò Barella, Miguel Almirón and Héctor Herrera as potential replacements for the Wales midfielder, who should probably just join West Ham on a fat contract and then immediately suffer a season-ending thigh strain.