Today’s whispers can get you a toe by three o’clock
You don’t care about the Mill. You don’t want us to make ourselves happy by starting this bulletin of tittle-tattle with a playful, circumlocutory and almost entirely narcissistic introduction. No, you just want transfer gossip. We’ll never be anything other than a rumour buddy to you, will we.
Fine, have it your way. The coy bromance between Gianluigi Buffon and Michael Oliver could go up a notch next season if – and this one might just merit an exclamation mark – Buffon accepts an offer to move to Liverpool! He has also, according to tomorrow’s super soaraway chip paper, been approached by Manchester City.