The Fiver always was dubious that Gareth Southgate would take Joe Hart to the Ethics World Cup because of his tournament experience. Admittedly it didn’t seem too outlandish when people suggested he should be included in the England squad in a Pepe Reina-esque cheerleader role, there to keep spirits in the camp high with his b@ntz and sagely advise Jack Butland and Jordan Pickford on how best to scream at unsuspecting Russian ball boys. For a while it seemed Southgate was going to bring him along for the ride. Until, that is, England’s manager discovered that the person leading the clamour for the Manchester City goalkeeper was none other than Shortbread McFiver, our Scottish cousin. Sneaky Shortbread McFiver! Bad Shortbread McFiver!